Ready.Set.Go!

School has started and boy has it taken off. The past week was a complete blur and I am not sure I have ever been so busy before in my life. This weekend John and his dad actually went on an annual fishing trip, which was really good for me so I didn't feel like I was ignoring him as I tried to catch up on work. I even had to go into school this morning before going with a friend to church. I could have spent the entire afternoon at work but decided to do as much work from home as I could, so John and I could hang out.

Not only has school been consuming my life, but our entire infertility route has done a 360. Last week we decided that we were going to go get a second opinion. We made an appointment at UNC and had even been in contact with the doctor. However, this weekend John and I decided to look at the IVF success rates of clinics in the state, only to find that UNC was rated 9 out of 9!! YIKES! Unfortunately, at this time we cannot go to Wake Forest because I can't take that much time off of work, so we decided we were just going to stay with Carolina Conceptions and just try one round of IVF. The doctors feel pretty sure that my lining won't budget but we believe.

This week I start birth control, we sign up for the IVF class, and pay for the cycle. From what we have gathered, I will be on birth control for 2 weeks and then start the menopur. Dr. Meyers (a partner with Dr. Couchman at Carolina) said I will be doing 225cc injections of Menopur and some form of estrogen!! EEEK! Our first cycle of shots I was only on 37.5 and then 75cc and my ovaries started getting excited and producing multiple follicles. Also, the our first cycle they said my lining got anywhere between 4-6mm on with my body's own estrogen SOOO hopefully with more menopur my lining will get where it needs to be and I will have tons of little follicles.

With this said... we need your prayers! Financially and emotionally this is a big deal for us. If my lining doesn't grow Carolina says they will retrieve my eggs and freeze them until we are ready for a surrogate. Of course, John and I aren't ready for that. Financially, it's between $80,000 - $120,000 unless you know someone who will carry your child (which we don't). We will never have that kind of money in our bank account! With that being said, if this doesn't work our next plan is to save up money to go to Wake Forest OR a phenomenal doctor in New York who handles tough cases like ours. 

We are so grateful to have a plan and options AND we are so lucky that we have time on our side. However, this journey has been much harder than I can put into words; especially since the doctors are practically giving up on us if this doesn't work. Thankfully we serve an awesome God... a Healer - One who had a cure before we even knew this problem existed. A God that can provide miracles when doctors say that there is no hope... a God that will never give up.

We thank God that we have an amazing relationship and a powerful support group. But we also are praying for peace .... and hope ..... and comfort .... and our miracle. 

Luke 1:37

So last Monday I went for my lining check and received possibly the most devastating news. My lining was approximately 2.5, which is even lower than the last visit (although Dr. Couchman says it's all relative). Dr. Couchman, who normally shows no emotion, was upset and baffled. Normal estrogen levels range from 30-400 but because of all of the estrogen I have been on, mine was almost 3000!! With this number my uterus should be producing a lining, but for some reason it isn't responding at all. Dr. C suggested we try a week or so more of estrogen to see if my body just takes longer to respond. She doesn't feel it is going to help, but it's worth a try.

A thin endometrium is one of the most under-researched subjects in the fertility field so there just isn't much else to do; however, I read about a study by Dr. Sher where Viagra suppositories were used to help increase the lining of women with thin endometriums. The unfortunate circumstance is that this study was not done with a large group of participants and since, the results have been mixed.

At this point, John and I are willing to try anything. We asked Dr. Couchman if she would be willing to let us try it. Of course, the medication is all out of pocket and we had to get it shipped form a specialty store but at this point, who cares? Dr. Couchman agreed to let us try it but again, she doesn't think it will work. She started me out on one suppository a day for 7 days, although the actual study used 4 a day for 8-11 days.  If one a day doesn't work, then we will probably ask to try the actual dosage used in the study.

More than ever, we need your prayers. We are trying to stay hopeful and after a long discussion last night John and I are not ready to throw in the towel yet. John had some discussions with some of his co-workers at the hospital who recommended seeking a second opinion at a research school like Duke or UNC, so if all fails at Carolina Conceptions, we will probably do that. We are researching and researching and researching for possible alternatives to try before we give up.

Regardless of any doctor saying "this won't work" .... "that won't work" ..... "there are no more options" ... we repeatedly tell each other that in Luke ch 1. verse 37 it says, "For with God, anything is possible." And that's what we believe.

Hope

Since my last post I have had acupuncture treatments two more times. No real "news" there; the treatments have all been extremely similar. Overall, I continue to feel very relaxed, positive and still full of hope. Thursday is the day we go to see if my lining has improved! Pray. Pray. Pray!

Also, I wanted to give a little update on my friend whom I talked about in my last post. She had her egg retrieval today and everything went great! 19 eggs! Continued prayers that the rest of the IVF process goes just as well.

As school (work) is about to start back up I have spent as much time as possible trying to do crafts and decorate the house. My big goal this summer was to make curtains for our room, which I haven't even started, HOWEVER, I did get a chance to paint and redo our entire guest bathroom! Pinterest inspired and all.... I love it!! And I decided to use Photoshop to put up a new bible verse in our kitchen. Every month or two I frame a bible verse in the kitchen so that everyday when I am making John's lunch, cooking, cleaning or what-have-you, I can read the verse and be reminded of God's word. Here is the latest.... it explains my feelings exactly. Everything is in God's hands and I cannot have fear. He has chosen us to go through this journey; He has provided strength, dignity, and laughs to get us through it all. And we can handle it!

 

 To continue with this journey of hope, I met with a co-worker today to help her out with some technology questions she had and she appeared with the most heartfelt and special gift. She had a friend make me this necklace that says "Hope" on one side and a pink heart on the other side. The pink heart she has placed on each of the necklaces that she has had made. It is such a special gift and it made my heart smile in so many ways. How lucky am we to have such remarkable people in our lives? Your support and love and prayers and messages and cards mean the world to us and we can only hope that someday we can return the gratitude you have shared with us.

 I wanted to end this post with the card that my dear co-worker and friend gave me. Her message says it all: