2ww

John and I were able to freeze 9 embryos, which is super exciting! We certainly weren't expecting that number so it was quite a pleasant surprise.

Now we are in what's called the "2 week wait", also known as 2ww in the infertility blog world. The first day or so I had some back cramps but that was really about it until today. Pretty much all throughout today I have had what feels like period cramps, especially if I stand for awhile. And I have had several friends who said when they were pregnant.... they just had a feeling and knew. Unfortunately I feel the same as I do everyday. On yes and I can't forget the night sweats from the exuberating amount of hormones in my body right now. And the nightly intramuscular shots John has to give me each night. Sounds fun, huh?

Really... I am dreading everything about Thursday, the blood test day. I dread hearing from the doctor that his next recommendation is a surrogate. I dread fighting for another chance at IVF. I dread finding another doctor if CC won't let us try again. I dread trying to persuade another doctor to try some new research "stuff." I dread the monthly reminder for the next year as we try to recoup the tens of thousands of dollars we have spent this year. I dread another year without our family expanding. And most of all... I dread trying to put all the pieces of my shattered heart back together. All of this is what I feel awaits me on Thursday.

But until Thursday I am going to enjoy every minute of my life hoping and praying for a positive outcome. And I am going to spend every minute praising g God for my amazing husband. He truly is my soulmate and the best thing that has ever happened to me. Because of him I don't have to do this alone. He planned the most fun and special weekend. Friday we went to the Hurricanes hockey game and I got to meet one of the surgeons John works with and his wife. The game was so intense but the Canes ended up losing in overtime. Saturday morning John went to Men's Breakfast at church and had such a great time; he is so cute the way he gets excited that all the men speak to him now. He came home and we walked around the neighborhood to see some of the homes in the Parade of Homes. Then I cooked dinner and we played corn hole with some neighbors. We ended the night gathering with several neighbors and just enjoying each other's company. Then today we went to church and spent the afternoon with our neighbors exploring million dollar homes in Cary. WOW! That's all I have to say about those houses. To end the weekend John got us tickets at the IMAX to see Gravity. We splurged on candy, popcorn and drinks and enjoyed every second of the palm sweating and being on the edge of our seats that came along with the movie. If you haven't seen it... I definitely recommend it.

So now here I am about to head to bed. I will continue to pray that God is performing a miracle right now and know in my heart that it can happen. I pray for peace as we wait and I pray for comfort and love. Goodnight to you! :)